Today at work I was asked if I was ok. I’m a normally quiet person to begin. I guess I’ve been quieter than normal for people who know me to notice be concerned enough to ask how I’m doing.
How am I doing? That’s a very good question. I’m physically tired and warm out from taking care of my soon to be 10 month old son and working an 8 hour a day job. Mentally worn out pretty much for the same reasons with the added bonus of spending 8 hours a day wishing I was at home with my son instead of having to work.
If I didn’t truly 100% need this job I would stay at home with my son and sell crochet projects for a little spending cash.
I can’t afford not to work. At the same time I know something needs to change. I can’t keep working 8 hour days on only 5-7 hours of sleep. I know I need to find a part time job. One where I can work at home would be even better. Unfortunately jobs are hard to come by. Even harder for people like me who are by nature shy and quiet and just not comfortable being around lots of people.
I can text, email, talk to people online even send letters in the mail filled with in depth content and tons to say but that’s because i can hide behind a screen or pen and paper. When it comes to connecting and conversing with people face to face or even over the phone I have trouble talking.
Well enough babbling about my thoughts it’s time for bed I’m falling asleep at the phone.